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Che Gorilla

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Fresh fics! [Apr. 4th, 2015|11:49 pm]
Che Gorilla

So, in the *mumble* *mumble* years I've been gone, I've gotten into Hannibal.

Here's some Hannibal crack and also an advice column. Oh, and one semi-serious one.
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Another oldie but goodie. Find all the dated 2007 memes and win our condolences. [Feb. 20th, 2014|01:19 am]
Che Gorilla
Story Or Series Title: Friend with Firestarter
Fandom: The Boy Who Lived For Carnage
Culprit Author's Name: sawiuk

Full Name (plus titles if any): Lee, Firestarter. (It’s the new Esq.)
Full Species(es): Firestarter and “purest pureblood.” (It’s also the new Rt. Hon.)
Hair Color (include adjectives): light brown
Eye Color (include adjectives): oscillating between ‘fire filled’ and ‘ordinary brown’.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Flames (v.) From Every Orifice.
Special Possessions (if any): Flames (n.) From Every Orifice.

Annoying Origin: The sad, lonely mind of an adolescent, possibly homosexual English pyro-boy who desperately wants a hug and a Zippo.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: ”bright strings of light meshed together inside both Lee’s and Harry’s souls.”
Annoying Special Abilities: Flames (v. and n.) From Every Orifice.
Other Annoying Traits: Soul-rapes Harry Potter in the park. (With a menorah.)

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Well, if you insist.Collapse )
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A blast from the past. [Feb. 18th, 2014|11:06 pm]
Che Gorilla
This spork is brought to you by your old friends axmxz and professor hortensio

axmxz: We can has reunion nao?

hortensio: We can has, indeed. Hint-hint to Messrs. Fry and Laurie.

Story Or Series Title: Dark Lady
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: Rommie03

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hailey Lynn Dumbledore
Full Species(es): Sueora dumbledorensis
Hair Color (include adjectives):
Eye Color (include adjectives):
Unusual Markings/Colorations:
Special Possessions (if any): "a beautiful v- neck, spaghetti strap, pink and maroon gown covered with sparkling stitched flowers on the bodice"; separate apartment within Hogwarts; many electrical appliances, Harry's innocence?

Annoying Origin: Dumbledore, Dumbledore, Dumbledore and Lord Voldemort.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Great-granddaughter (and so much more) of Dumbledore; daughter of Lord Voldemort.
Annoying Special Abilities: Attends Hogwarts in secret
Other Annoying Traits:

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Well, if you insist.Collapse )
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Как все было на самом деле. Избирательный участок №6 г. Москва. Хроника одного дня. [Dec. 8th, 2011|12:10 pm]
Che Gorilla
Originally posted by vyrodok at Как все было на самом деле. Избирательный участок №6 г. Москва. Хроника одного дня.
После того, как окончился этот кошмар, находясь больше суток без сна и в постоянном напряжении, в моей голове ритмично пульсировала только одна фраза "это пиздец", повторяемая с бешеной частотой, но обо всем по порядку. Может я чересчур подробно описываю всё, но мне хочется чтобы вы "прожили" этот день со мной.

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(no subject) [Nov. 30th, 2011|11:15 pm]
Che Gorilla
Ah, Stas Podlipsky, the gorgeously twisted frontman of "Dour Faces Club". King of Scumbags; Hamlet of the New Wave. He sang punk, and he sang shanson, but most importantly, he sang and continues to sing Odessa itself. In the best rock-n-roll tradition, he shot up, snorted and smoked so many illegal substances that they apparently pickled him inside out - for a man whose music career is now wrapping up its third turbulent decade, he looks remarkably fresh. Various rock encyclopedias list him as having died either in 1995 or 1998. I'm sure this amuses him to no end.

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(no subject) [Nov. 22nd, 2011|10:04 pm]
Che Gorilla
Hey Russians! Recognize this lovely lichiko?

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(no subject) [Nov. 22nd, 2011|04:48 pm]
Che Gorilla
Never heard this Akvarium song before... like a knife through the heart.

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(no subject) [Nov. 5th, 2011|09:48 pm]
Che Gorilla
How time flies. Just saw the third opera in Wagner's Ring cycle via Met telecast. Only one left now: Goetterdaemmerung.

This Siegfried was pretty much two and a half acts of pure delight, though some of it probably not quite intentional, and then 40 or so really underwhelming minutes with Bruenhilde. The stage machine actually worked like it was supposed to, - a bit noisy but c'est la vie. It really does create magical sets, so perhaps it was worth all that moolah.

Everyone returned from the previous productions, - Mime (very clear and quite powerful, especially in contrast to reedy Siegfried), Wotan (Bryn Terfel, fabulous from habit to boot), Alberich (delicious), Fafner, Erda, and Bruenhilde (even more meh than last time - Voigt sounds rather screechy on high notes). The tenor singing Siegfried, however, was an understudy, this aw-shucks middle-aged guy from Paris, Texas. Not a big voice but a sweet one, a lyric tenor instead of a Heldentenor. Quite suitable to sing a 17-year old boy, but perhaps not quite as suitable to sing a 17-year old demigod. He did his best to gambol on stage, but he couldn't quite recreate Siegfried's off-putting masculine teenage aggression, so he just looked like a frolicking golden retriever. He's also plainly not used to having an HD camera trained on him, unless he really did intend for all those adorably puzzled faces to be seen by everyone. Perhaps he did - he certainly played Siegfried silly and dit-witted to the hilt.

But the biggest laughs came during intermission, when he would retreat backstage. Since this was a telecast, he got ambushed by Renee Fleming with a microphone after every act. Imagine Siegfried striding backstage in his armor, the sword Nothung in hand, tall, broad, with a great blonde mane halfway down his back, suddenly blinking his baby blues helplessly at the nice lady and meowling: "Oh my Gaaaawd this is so haaard!...I have no oxygen left in my braaaaain!.." Then the camera would follow him to his room, and all the females in the movie theater would exhale this massive "Aaaawww..." watching him crash on the couch and curl up around a blanket. In some ways, it was a perfect continuation of the opera itself: not exactly Siegfried the Blond Beast; more like Siegfried the Blond Moment.
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(no subject) [Nov. 5th, 2011|01:35 am]
Che Gorilla
The person who left this comment said it all: "плавно открывающийся портал в ад оставили за кадром." (The gradually opening portal to hell was left off camera.)

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(no subject) [Nov. 5th, 2011|12:46 am]
Che Gorilla
Can someone become a hipster by accident? I don't smoke anything, drink Pabst or any kind of coffee, wear large glasses, sun or otherwise, or sport funky angular hair in colors never found on mammalian heads in nature. I do not live in Brooklyn, and I don't own a fixed-gear bike, or any bike for that matter. All the computers in my house run Windows. I can't play guitar, and I find Zooey Deschanel mildly irritating.

However:Collapse )
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