Had gone to the dentist's today to get my teeth cleaned and X-rayed. Got a bunch of surprisingly good news. The cleaning was barely necessary, even though the last time I was at the dentist's was, like, five years ago; I have no cavities; my wisdom teeth will not be causing any foreseeable problems necessitating any medical involvement whatsoever, and that slight tenderness in one of my teeth is just from my grinding my jaws at night. The dentist threw a short look over my X-rays, shrugged and told me to take two Advil and massage my facial muscles before going to bed at night. Other than that, I got the usual instructions to floss regularly, although the hygienist said that I had such "tight contacts" between my teeth that food couldn't really get stuck there if it tried.

Self-improvement update: have been doing thirty crunches in the morning and in the evening. Still not biting nails. Nails now growing long and shiny.